Reflections from a digital nomad

Is a life of freedom really better? I ask as I ride down dirt roads through rural Laos, solo again after hosting a great group tour through Thailand with my business. There are ways I feel fulfilled in this life of travel, there are ways I don’t. 

Truly, I love my solo time. I’ve come to realize this after having to face my fears of being fully alone, no one to “text when the plane lands” except my mom. No one truly there for me every morning and every night. I burned that life, the stability that came with a marriage and a house, for the unknown. Now, even during beautiful moments with lovers on the road, I question if I’ll ever be able to find the same solid love. I’m always on the move, so it’s hard to build a future with someone. The constant goodbyes can be tiring.

Here I am, fully embracing the unknown. And it’s hard, I can’t lie.

Building a business that has successful days, and some really scary ones too. Not really knowing if our world leaders in the blink of an eye will eviscerate any chance I have of real success.

Of building a future.

Of serving my life’s purpose.

Of…saving money enough to retire eventually when my body gives out and my need for a comfortable life triumphs over my love of adventure.

In the face of these questions, I just have to lean in.

To my spirituality.

To my confident, highest version.

To my faith in asking the universe for what I want, and it providing. 

So I’m leaning into every curve, like I do while driving my motorbike. Reflecting on all that’s happened to me, for me, and how grateful I am to be in these shoes. 

Because when I lock eyes with a young girl on the side of the road who’s walking home from town with groceries in tow and no real opportunity to leave the life that’s been given to her, I recognize that I have to take every opportunity I have to succeed.

Because I can.

Because she would..if she were me.